Eye Contact with no Anxiety


Listen, we are so damn visual. We are drawn-in and visually attracted to others, but we are also visually intimidated, anxious and self-protective. We talk to close friends in one way, but we talk to our Victoria Secret supermodel friends a different way. Haw Haw. So where the hell should we focus our eyes when we are talking to someone?!

There were a lot of requests for more info about EYE CONTACT and anxiety after my last video. Below is a juicy teaching on that, featuring the lovely miss Nastia. “Brrrap boopdi scoop,” as Kanye would say.

After 20 years of practicing and teaching Zen and other Non-Duality systems, I have seen how much the sense of separation and aloneness determines our expression, creativity, spontaneity and connection.

In fact, because of this mysterious and UNDERLYING impulse to perceive the world in the context of threat and separation, we have invented SUPER FUNNY techniques that do not exist in the rest of the animal kingdom!

Just imagine this: “This week, the Chimpanzee and Blowfish communities are holding seduction courses on their favorite pick-up lines, speech calibration and focusing techniques, as well as Alpha intent techniques.” Animals don’t complicate the shit or become paralyzed the way we do. But as humans, we are VERY resourceful when it comes to creating bandaids and self-help systems to cover up our INCREASING difficulty with connecting, intimacy, and sex. At last, it’s time to find the fearless animal who lives in you, baby…..WITHOUT your OVER-THINKING mind and ego!!!

Over and again, I have seen that it’s the student who pursues the path to dissolve the UNDERLYING feeling of separation and anxiety that becomes great at connecting. Of course, the best way to achieve this is to have practical training, covering: 1. Approach skills. 2. Conversation Skills. 3. Non-duality training. 4. Sexual escalation 5. Dating and logistics and social intelligence.

Disappointingly, the reason why we are not seeing integrated training like this in the dating world is because it has not existed yet! And because there has been NO ONE ELSE QUALIFIED TO TEACH IT. I have seen many cerebral students attached to very cerebral teachers, taking the long way to intimacy and connection. Students don’t realize that it is the long way because they have not yet had a non-dual realization, so the student continues to tackle technical challenges taught to them by teachers who have also NOT had non-dual realization. The student continually feels that he has more TECHNIQUES to learn and master. After the workshops he slips back to his old self, or depends on more youtube videos, pep talks and encouragement from wingmen. But he blames himself, not the teacher because his limitations and fears are his own. The problem is that he has not had a teacher to guide him through the source of his fear and blockage.

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